i think my english teacher and aaron from mewithoutYou should have a coversation over [fair trade] coffee.oh and don miller should come too. those people spin the most elaborate thoughts into my mind when it comes to
humanity
christianity
existence...ity. ive been thinking a lot about who i am as a follower of christ.
[its strange though, i dont feel right now like im mega tight with Him. like its sad... not hardly do i feel in passionate pursuit of Him like i should...but boy have i been thinking..]
ive been considering all the things we think define a good christian.
an upper middle class
nice clean church attending
Focus On The Family-obsessed
republican. but my english teacher...
does not ever wear any stylish clothes
or make up
nor does she have a tv.
nor does she attend church in a church building but rather a home.
her church does not even have a NAME. they just meet. at someones house.
she sounds like shes singing when she talks and is so beautiful in her speech.
she makes sad faces when she should be pissed.
if only you could talk with her.
she asked me the other day if the volunteering i was doing was helping the people at the homeless shelter
or myself more.... she made a sad face when i said i had thought about getting a tattoo.
"oh maia youre so above trends..." she teaches her kids to love God on their own.
her 11 year old daughter prays all the time. because she wants to.
shes been taught the beauty of it. .... this probably just sounds like my gushing about my teach.
but listen. when we talked about the tattoo thing, we got on the subject of ..clothes and fashion and make up and all that. i say
what about expressing creativity? showing who i am? she says.
what about showing Christ? the strongest christians i know are ones who you see nothing but Christ in them. they die to themselves so much and glorify Him so much, their lives dont mean anything. they shine with Christ's likeness. i say
but doesnt God want us to be our own people? she says.
its not your life anyway.... ___ and then i get to thinking about what it would be like to just put away everything that glorifies me. my clothes, my hairstyle, my catchphrases.. all that. and just...shine Christ. do i even know who he was? does he want glitzy churches?
does he always want right wing politicians all the time?
would he really be on a puplit on sundays? or would he be at that homeless shelter.
but not showing anything of his own life.
just to give of it.
just shining his Fathers glory. would he try to dress nice to show people how blessed christians are?
would he try to impress them at all? even to try to convert them or get them to gain salvation??? don millers been getting me thinking about the churches and hypocracy and being a hippie. :)
aaron weiss' words trickle my head and heart about the faultiness of humanity. but not just people "out there in the world." the ickiness we christ followers contain.
and
mrs schraw teaches me about being an authentic, true to the biblical definition of a christian. she makes me want to shake up all ive been taught is right. not twisting morality or right and wrong. but considering.... what IS a christian?
am i living like one? ...i should start reading to re discover that.
ill get back to you.
as of 2 days ago in the shower i got to thinking thus far:
im a christ follower.
kinda hippie-ish.
i care about the environment
but i care more about people.
and i guess a little bit about animals.
i do like to eat them though.
i do not like smoking.
i do not like the drinking/party scene.
but i may sip marguaritas with you when im 21+.
i think my ideas for tattoos are beautiful and deeply meaningful
but i want to honor my body, my dad, and my future husband more. [since he'll be stuck with this body forever.]
so i probably will never get one.
i go to a kind of big church.
its a real, honest, God centered place.
but lately ive liked the idea of having meals and having church.
together. like the old days.
in a persons house.
the community of it.
i struggle between political parties.
i like education and benefits for teachers.
and lower taxes.
and concern for global warming.
but owning a gun?
and should people who are gay be able to get married?
undecided.
.....and i ask "why" for every answer.
i want senior citizens to have many benefits.
i want people in need to be helped.
but with a balanced program.
and never shall i budge on this:
you kill a fetus. youre taking life.
abortion is homocide.
and enough of that...
i like having my style and individuality.
i love expression of unique self.
i love fashion.
but...
this is where schraw comes in again- yes God gave us talents, to be a great musician, to be an artist, to be a teacher... all expressive. but WHO told us it was to express ourselves?...... ok ok ok ok im really done. [i ended this entry like 4 different times.]
| 
